ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
