I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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