is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
