Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
