Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
