No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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