Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
