in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
