I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
