I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize