I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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