I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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