kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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