Christians are straight up FREAKS
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
