You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
