Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I would ride that face into the sunset
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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