I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize