Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize