I can't watch pbs sober anymore
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
