I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
