I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
