A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
