check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize