Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize
