there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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