You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
