Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
