PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
