Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
