It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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