Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
