you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize