There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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