i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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