I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
