No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize