I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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