Moan for me like Helen Keller
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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