My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
