She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
