I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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