I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
