They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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