As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
where does the pee come out of this thing
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
