Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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