guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
