i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
This toilet bowl is my home.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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