how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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