ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
