I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
