3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
