Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
