Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
