Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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