would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize