we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
