office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
