oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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