hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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