i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize