if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
