Midget sex pt 2 tonight
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
