absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
