Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
